Tears

How many times can on cry in a day?  Well my answer is 3 so far and it is only 1.  The first set of tears came at 5:30 when I crawled back in bed with her and realized that 24 hours from then I would be getting up for work.  Chris woke up and gave me a tissue rolled over and went back to sleep.

The second time was when Chris was holding her and she was smiling and cooing for him and I realized I would miss my favorite part of the day with her.  It is in the morning right after she eats.  She is so happy and now the babysitters will get to see that.  

The third time was as she was falling asleep for her morning nap and I was looking at her thinking about how I don't want to miss these precious moments of watching her sleep. At this point Chris looks at me and says " You really do love her don't you?"  

And the fourth time is writing this post.  How can I leave my baby?  I know she will be fine.  I know she will be in good hands, but at the same time those hands aren't my own.  If I'm this emotional today I can only imagine what tomorrow holds!

On top of all that she has one of the worst cases of diaper rash.  Her poor butt is so red, she cries when we change her diaper.  

She also rolled over for the first time today.  She was laying on her stomach on the couch and  pushed herself over.  I put her back on her stomach and she did it again!  So I put her on the floor and she couldn't do it.  It just made me sad to know that I might be missing those first big moments!

     I will be okay, I will be okay.  That is what I will have to just tell myself over and over until this feeling of guilt passes.