Disappointment and Stress

Last night Chris told me that he was going to get to come home for a week. Tonight he tells me "just kidding" I will be here until the end of the month.

I know it is a good thing that he still has a job but it is so frustrating.

I don't know how much more of this I can do. I don't know if I will be alive at the end of the month. I was fine the first few weeks he was gone when Alyssa was healthy and I was able to sleep 95-98% of the night.

Now I am lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep a night and that is broken sleep because Alyssa is up. She is so sick with breathing treatments. Today she had a chest x-ray, blood work and a doctor's appointment to make sure she doesn't have anything other than congestion. The doctor keeps telling me that she is typical for a first year baby in daycare. But I know that isn't true, I know to many people that have kids in daycare and worked in daycare long enough to know that she is extreme.

Because of all the stress and lack of sleep I have been getting I have developed an eye twitch. My right eye twitches constantly. There are times when I feel like I can't breathe. I have also noticed that my patience at work is considerably less.

I really pray that Alyssa can at least go back to being almost healthy and I can make it another 4 weeks, because right now it feels like I can't doggy paddle anymore and I'm going to drowned.