My Grandpa

My grandpa will probably die today and I have such mixed emotions. From the time I was born until I was 16 my grandpa was wonderful to me. I looked forward to visiting him and my grandma. They would take us on amazing trips, and they had a very awesome gazebo that they would take us to and we would have picnic lunches.

When my parents divorced at 16 things took a turn for the worse and they cut me off. I stopped receiving birthday money and Christmas gifts. When I went to college it was better for a year or so but then I got married and they did not approve since I was young. When I moved to Missouri they refused to let me use their cabin at the Lake of the Ozarks. Also one time when we did go down to visit them at the lake a screaming match between my grandpa and I broke out and it ended with my dad in my grandpa's face and Chris and I leaving the lake before being there 4 hours.

I will go to the funeral because I feel like I need to say good-bye and also because I know my dad will need me.

I have cried a few times today knowing the end is near yet at the same time it is hard to be as sad as I know I should be.

We have known he was sick and has the end stages of Alzheimer's for the last year. Yesterday morning he had a sever stroke and now can't swallow or blink.

I am so glad that Alyssa got to meet him, and sad that Colin never got the chance. I am also glad that the last two visits I have had with my grandpa were on good terms and that I can go away with those memories instead of ending on a bad note.