I started this blog in the weeks after I gave birth to Alyssa. The reason I did it was because 1. it was a cool thing to do and 2. I wanted a place to remember the big and little things she was doing. 3. A place for friends and family to keep up with what is going on since they don't live close.
As time went on I realized I was really bad at keeping up with the baby books (in fact I don't think I have opened either kids in about a year). I haven't done a fantastic job at blogging, but I do have at least parts of each year in writing.
After my first year of blogging I made all my blog posts into a book with blog2print. I had said I would do that once a year so that my kids could have a book that had memories of their childhood seen from my point of view. Well I haven't done that yet, but I do admit that every so often I spend a night going back looking through old posts.
Sometimes it is because someone asks me a question about a milestone one of the kids has met and I can remember about when it happened but not exactly, so I go back and read through blogs.
I never figured I would have a big fan base reading my blog. To my knowledge there are only like 3 people subscribed to my blog, but when I check my stats I see that I do have people from around the world reading my blog.
If you are one of those can you tell me what inspires you to read my blog? Or was it a pure accident that you came upon my blog?
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
How do I do it?
Tonight as I was sitting in at swim class for the kids my phone went off that I had a facebook message. When I checked it, it was someone that said that they had found my blog and wondered how I did it.
This got me thinking. To be perfectly honest some days I'm not sure I am doing it. Sometimes people will asking how I am and I will say well I'm alive. They laugh it off, but honestly some days that is about the only emotion I have.
Other days I feel cool and confident and feel like everything is under control. The response I gave is that I always make sure I'm moving forward. Some days it feels like I'm taking giant leaps, other days I'm taking such small baby steps I wonder if I'm moving backwards.
Between Colin and all his health issues, owning and expanding my business every year for the last three years and making sure my house and husband are all well taken care of is hard.
I have to admit I haven't always been successful, at times I have had to go to my doctor to ask for help. I am on blood pressure meds and at times anxiety meds. At times that makes me feel like a failure, but in the bigger picture I know that it really doesn't make me a failure but human and it is okay.
The other part that gets me through is God and my family/ friend support system. Without them I know there would be no way I could handle it. When the tears are there and I'm at a low I have found that God always places someone in my life that can help me. That doesn't mean that the day I feel lost I automatically get help but it does come. I have a few people that are always there with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.
My life is not easy, yet as I think about it I don't think I would change it. Are there days when I would love for Colin to be healthy? Well of course! Yet if I had the choice to take Colin with all his issues or another perfectly healthy little boy I would take Colin in a heartbeat.
Because of Colin and all we have gone through I know I have been able to help a few other people when their children have been sick. That helps makes it a little better.
Today as I have sat an analyzed Colin's breathing, moods and O2 I wonder if there will ever be an end. At this point I can't tell you, but I know I will make it. And that is what is important!
This got me thinking. To be perfectly honest some days I'm not sure I am doing it. Sometimes people will asking how I am and I will say well I'm alive. They laugh it off, but honestly some days that is about the only emotion I have.
Other days I feel cool and confident and feel like everything is under control. The response I gave is that I always make sure I'm moving forward. Some days it feels like I'm taking giant leaps, other days I'm taking such small baby steps I wonder if I'm moving backwards.
Between Colin and all his health issues, owning and expanding my business every year for the last three years and making sure my house and husband are all well taken care of is hard.
I have to admit I haven't always been successful, at times I have had to go to my doctor to ask for help. I am on blood pressure meds and at times anxiety meds. At times that makes me feel like a failure, but in the bigger picture I know that it really doesn't make me a failure but human and it is okay.
The other part that gets me through is God and my family/ friend support system. Without them I know there would be no way I could handle it. When the tears are there and I'm at a low I have found that God always places someone in my life that can help me. That doesn't mean that the day I feel lost I automatically get help but it does come. I have a few people that are always there with an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on.
My life is not easy, yet as I think about it I don't think I would change it. Are there days when I would love for Colin to be healthy? Well of course! Yet if I had the choice to take Colin with all his issues or another perfectly healthy little boy I would take Colin in a heartbeat.Because of Colin and all we have gone through I know I have been able to help a few other people when their children have been sick. That helps makes it a little better.
Today as I have sat an analyzed Colin's breathing, moods and O2 I wonder if there will ever be an end. At this point I can't tell you, but I know I will make it. And that is what is important!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Colin
Colin, Colin, Colin I so wish there was an easy answer for him! We went back to the doctor (Pulmonary) on Friday. She decided at that time that it isn't his lungs that are the issue, it is his sinuses. I told her that the ENT disagreed with that. So Pulm wanted us to consult another ENT for a second opinion.
In all the discussion she told us to stop doing breathing treatments because they weren't doing anything his lungs sounded fine and clear.
So we did, we stopped treatments as of Friday afternoon. Well every day since then he has seemed to get a little worse. Today his eyes were droopy, watery and his energy level was very low. I'm no sure where to go or what to do.
I just wish someone could come up with some kind of answer.
In all the discussion she told us to stop doing breathing treatments because they weren't doing anything his lungs sounded fine and clear.
So we did, we stopped treatments as of Friday afternoon. Well every day since then he has seemed to get a little worse. Today his eyes were droopy, watery and his energy level was very low. I'm no sure where to go or what to do.
I just wish someone could come up with some kind of answer.
Life
I have started this post a few times and always hit the delete button and move on. However I keep reminding myself that this blog is here so that in 10 years when I want to look back I can remember things that happened.
About a week and half ago Chris told me that his company had told him he was going to take lead on a job. Now this is a good thing. He had been working the last few months on a new data entry process and the higher ups wanted him to try it out on this new project.
He then told me that this new project is in Iowa. It is about three and a half hours away. Then went on to tell me that the projected time line is 18 months.
I am so proud of all that he has accomplished with his job. Every year he gets good reviews and it seems like there are a lot of people that want Chris on their team. I'm so happy that he has been able to find a place to work that values him as an employee. Yet at the same time it SUCKS because now he is going to be gone for 18 months.
We talked about all moving up to Iowa but with my business, Alyssa starting school in the fall, and all of Colin's health issues it just wasn't the right choice for us.
We have told family and friends about the move but we haven't told the kids yet. We don't know exactly when he is going but it will be within the next few weeks. I'm trying to prepare myself for long days and a routine that will work for the kids and me.
I'm not looking forward to him going but I know that we will be okay and that we can get through this and hopefully come out stronger on the other side.
The other big change is I have given up the job of opening the daycare to a qualified employee. I switched hours with her and so she comes in at 6:30 and I don't come in until 7:30. This morning was day three of this routine and I have to say that I am LOVING it. I'm not as rushed and the kids are happier when we walk out the door. It is amazing the things I can get done in the hour. I have unloaded the dishwasher twice, folded laundry and even done some snuggling and book reading. I love it.
About a week and half ago Chris told me that his company had told him he was going to take lead on a job. Now this is a good thing. He had been working the last few months on a new data entry process and the higher ups wanted him to try it out on this new project.
He then told me that this new project is in Iowa. It is about three and a half hours away. Then went on to tell me that the projected time line is 18 months.
I am so proud of all that he has accomplished with his job. Every year he gets good reviews and it seems like there are a lot of people that want Chris on their team. I'm so happy that he has been able to find a place to work that values him as an employee. Yet at the same time it SUCKS because now he is going to be gone for 18 months.
We talked about all moving up to Iowa but with my business, Alyssa starting school in the fall, and all of Colin's health issues it just wasn't the right choice for us.
We have told family and friends about the move but we haven't told the kids yet. We don't know exactly when he is going but it will be within the next few weeks. I'm trying to prepare myself for long days and a routine that will work for the kids and me.
I'm not looking forward to him going but I know that we will be okay and that we can get through this and hopefully come out stronger on the other side.
The other big change is I have given up the job of opening the daycare to a qualified employee. I switched hours with her and so she comes in at 6:30 and I don't come in until 7:30. This morning was day three of this routine and I have to say that I am LOVING it. I'm not as rushed and the kids are happier when we walk out the door. It is amazing the things I can get done in the hour. I have unloaded the dishwasher twice, folded laundry and even done some snuggling and book reading. I love it.
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