Home Safe

The surgery went well. We got to the hospital a little after 7, we played in the room until a little after 9. I took her down to the pre-op room. I was with her in there until a little after 9:30. They brought her back to us a little after 10. When they brought her back she was very upset and angry with us and for about 45 minutes all she did was scream and cry. Then she feel asleep and when she woke up she was much better. When we got her home she was as happy as can be. She went to sleep about 1:30 and has pretty much been asleep since then. (it is now almost 6) She will wake up for a few minutes talk in her crib and then go back to sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow she is her normal happy, busy self.

6th Hospital Bracelet

Tomorrow morning we are off to the hospital again. It will be Alyssa's 6th hospital bracelet. This wouldn't be a big deal if she was older, but that is a lot for 10 months. To be fair some of them were just for blood draws but still...a 10 month old should not have that many. 1. When she was born (the only one she SHOULD have). 2-4. Blood draws for Jaundice. 5. When she was sick and would not eat in 24 hours. And now the surgery.

Today I got two calls, the first one was a nurse giving me her pre-op instructions and asking the admittance questions. These questions are usually geared towards adults so it was interesting to say the least to answer what her hobbies were ( I said climbing and getting into everything). Then the insurance lady called me. Her words were " This surgery will be covered 100% after your deductible is met". I thought that was great and was thinking with all the doctor visits and her birth that shouldn't be that much. She then tells me it will be over $2,000. I was surprised but I would pay any amount to make her better. So there goes any money we might have been getting anytime soon.

I know deep down that she will be okay, and that this will help make her better, but still makes me nervous. Sometimes being a mom is hard.

I am grateful that today the power went out and I was not able to take Alyssa to daycare. We spent the day together. We had a lot of fun snuggling and playing on the floor. She also had a blast playing in the cabinets, bathrooms, stairs, and anything else she could get into.

Well off to rest before our day tomorrow. If you have time please say a little extra prayer for my baby tomorrow.

Merry Christmas

This was probably one of the best Christmas' I have had in awhile. I was very apprehensive going into Christmas and had told many people I was not in the Christmas Spirit. But when you have a 10 month old loving every gift you hand her it is impossible not to get into the Spirit.

Last night we went over to Chris's brother and sister-in-laws house. The whole extended family was there so there were 7 kids under the age of 13 and close to 20 adults. I sat on the floor most of the night watching Alyssa walk around. She would walk to someone, as soon as they would look or talk to her she would drop to the floor and crawl back to me. People were amazed that she was walking. When we opened presents she wanted to play with everything. Even the clothes came out and were put on her head while she crawled around. I promise she only had water to drink!!

This morning she woke up with a lot of congestion in her chest so she was up at 5:30. I was not thrilled with being up so early, I thought we had a few more years before we were up that early on Christmas. So Chris stayed up with her while I went back to bed until almost 8. When I got up we ate creeps and Skyped my mom. She talked to us while we finished breakfast and then watched us open presents.

Alyssa sat in my lap and I helped her open each present. One of the gifts she got was a teddy bear. When I pulled the bear out she grabbed it and gave it the biggest hug you couldn't help but tear up a little.

After all the opening Alyssa went down for a nap and Chris and I unpacked all the toys from boxes and straightened up.

At 2 this afternoon we went to Judy and Chas's for Christmas. You should have seen the amount of presents. It was amazing. The kids (4 of them) took over an hour just to open their presents. Alyssa got a lot of fun toys and now our house looks like ToysRUs. She was so tired by the end of the Adults opening presents that she had to go lay down and take a 30 minute power nap while Chris and I ate some food.

We got home and she played for a few minutes and then was out like a light.

Christmas is over and 2009 is almost over. It has gone so fast and yet so slow at the same time.

Chris told me this morning that I gave him the best Christmas present ever when I gave him Alyssa. I have to agree, having a child and seeing the joy through their eyes brings a whole new meaning to Christmas.

I have an amazing husband and a wonderful daughter and a great set of extended family and friends. I can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for us.

Merry Christmas to all and don't forget the reason for the season. I will post pictures tomorrow when I load them onto my computer.

Mixed Emotions

As Christmas keeps getting closer I keep waiting for that Christmas spirit to hit. Before the miscarriage I could not wait for Christmas I pictured waking up Christmas morning and bringing Alyssa down to open her presents. Smiles on all of our faces as she spent more time with the paper than the gifts.

Since the miscarriage I have mixed emotions about Christmas. I am still excited for Alyssa's first Christmas but at the same time I can't wait for Christmas to be over. I think I'm ready to move on. When I was first pregnant I was thinking of how I would look at Christmas and how the clothes I had to pick out for people to give me would not fit anymore. Now those clothes will fit and in a way it will be a reminder that I'm not pregnant.

I think the other thing keeping me from the Christmas spirit is my work. But I'm not even going to take the time to post about that because I'm off work for two weeks and have promised myself that for that time I will not think about work.

So with those thoughts Merry Christmas and may it be filled with wonderful memories and may 2010 bring even more good ones.

Fun Night

Last night Justin and Becca came to spend the night. They arrived after Alyssa had gone to bed so we got to spend some time with just them. Justin played some X box games with Chris. Becca went between helping me bake and playing with all of Alyssa's toys.

This morning both kids were up at 7. So at 7:15 I crawled out of bed so that they could get up. About 15 minutes later Alyssa was up and ready to go for the day. It was soo much fun to watch Justin and Becca play with Alyssa. Alyssa had so much fun chasing them around and getting all of their attention. Becca loved playing "mommy" and was carrying her all over the room. I sat on the couch and read a book most of the morning watching over the top of my book.

It really reminded me of why we moved back to Missouri. As it is freezing cold out and we have had a dusting of snow for the last week. There are times where Arizona seems like a nice place to move and I know that Alyssa would be very loved there and have lots of loving family around. But on the same hand I'm so happy that she will know her cousins on this side. We get to see family at least once a month and all the kids are so happy to see Alyssa walk through the door. I can't wait to see how the friendships form later on in life.

Playing Adult

Last night Alyssa went to the grandparents, Chris and I got all dressed up and got a hotel room. We went to the Symphony to hear them play Christmas music. It was AMAZING the music was great and both Chris and I spent the first few songs thinking about how we can't wait until Alyssa is old enough to bring her. Because of a miscommunication between Chris and I we ended up with a second set of tickets so we invited some friends. This made the night even better because we were dressed up together and so we went out afterwards. We went to a bar that I love to go to. We had a few drinks and some food and a lot of laughs. After that bar we went to another. Really I did not need anymore to drink, but I did have two more drinks. I am paying for the drinks this morning but I had a lot of fun.

When Chris and I woke up this morning we talked for about three minutes and then we said okay lets get up and go get our baby. That is what we did and it was GREAT to walk through the door and see Alyssa with her arms outstretched for me.

Being an Adult that gets dressed up is fun to do every once in a while, but I will take my sweat pants and sweater for the rest of this week!

Doctor

Last night I had to go to the doctor. It has been four weeks since I had my D&C for the miscarriage and this appointment was supposed to be to make sure all was good, answer any questions and then to tell us the results of the testing they did on the baby.

I got there and he told me that there was not enough tissue to test the baby. In some ways I'm happy, but in other ways it feels like I will always question why? He thinks it was due to low levels of progesterone and as soon as I get a new positive pregnancy test that I should call them so blood work can be done and we can get the levels tested.

All in all it was a good appointment and I'm glad it is over with and I can move on. It was great to be able to come home to my smiling daughter and wonderful husband!

Now my next goal is to get through next Tuesday, then my stress level should be even lower!

First Semester Down

Well my first semester of college is over. I have finished all the work. One class I will end up with an A in. The other class will either be a high C or a low B. Either way I'm happy and glad that those two classes are behind me. I have three more classes before June, then I'm going to take the summer off. We will see how the next few classes go.

10 months

Dear Alyssa,

You are 10 months old today. Happy 10 month birthday big girl.

Each day my love for you grows more and more. You now eat only table food. If we offer you baby food you get very offended and will swing your arms around so that we can not get the food in your mouth. You also will not eat off baby silverware. It must be a big person spoon or fork. You are eating so much more theses days and I think your favorite thing to eat right now is anything with bread or a tortilla. You have four teeth up top and 2 teeth on the bottom. I think you are working on more bottom ones right now but only time will tell.

You can now stand by yourself and will do so for up to 45 seconds before you lower yourself to the ground. You are a climber and will climb on anything we let you. At Tammy's you are not allowed to be without socks because you climb the slide. You also love to climb stairs.

You are also into everything you can open the cabinets and if we open the dishwasher you are to it faster than we can get the dishes in it.

You are also so very happy. When we go out to eat you get every person in the place to wave at you and you give them big smiles and waves. You love to wave bye-bye to people.

The other thing you do is love to look at pictures of yourself. You will see one and say "Hi baby" you will also say "Hi momma" and "Hi Dadda" these make your dad's and my day so bright.

The only thing you are still not good at is sleeping. You do not like to take naps and we are very lucky if you sleep an hour. At night you are getting better and sleeping closer to 12 hours, but are still up twice a night in that time.

I love you baby girl and can't wait to see what month 10 brings with Christmas and the New Year.

Love,

Mommy