Fear

At 3:25 today I was sitting at my computer upset with my students because they should have been writing and they were talking and playing. I was typing notes out to parents and saw my message light pop on. I checked the messages on my school phone and one was from the babysitter telling me she was very worried about Alyssa and to call her back ASAP. I call her back she tells me Alyssa has a fever of 103.9 is developing a heat rash, has not eaten or drank a single drop all day and she is not sure what to do. I inform her I'm going to call the doctor and then I will call her back. I call the doctor who does not seem as worried about a high fever as I am. They tell me to give it a few hours and see if it gets better.

I call the babysitter back tell her I'm on my way as soon as I can get out of the parking lot and to give Alyssa Tylenol. I was supposed to have a meeting until 6:30 tonight so my mother in law is already on her way to pick up Alyssa.

When I get to the daycare Alyssa's temp is still 102.7 and she is obviously not feeling well. I tell the babysitter well we are off to the ER.

I was very happy with the ER I signed her in at 4:47 and by 5:10 she had been seen by a doctor. By 5:50 we were walking out of the ER. That is where I was not happy because they said they thought it was just a virus but if she gets worse bring her back.

I have an appointment at 9 am with the doctor. I am going to be very forceful with questions. I understand that a baby in daycare gets sick a lot but she has been sick WAY to much. I want to know if there is something more I can do to help keep her healthy.

I love that little girl so much and can not even wrap my mind around the idea of not giving her the world. I hate that she has spent the first year of her life so sick. I think a nanny might be in our future so that she can stay a little healthier.

Ohh what a day!

So Big

My daughter is growing up way to fast( that is a picture of what I looked like a year ago). She has a week an a half until she is one year old. After being so sick last week she decided that she doesn't like formula anymore. So after about 3 days of fighting it I called the doctor and as of tonight she does not have to have formula anymore. Also as of tonight she has learned to feed herself. Now she isn't very good at it but she can now put a spoon or fork full of food in her mouth. As I sat there watching her do it I got tears in my eyes. My baby is not a baby anymore.

I cherish every moment I have with her at night. Since Chris has been away for the last four weeks it has given me more time to spend with her, while Chris watches on Skype. She has a favorite book called "Animal Talks" that was given to her for Christmas. We can read this book about 40 times a day on a weekend. So both Chris and I know it by heart. Alyssa will now stand in front of the computer and I will turn the pages so that Chris can read her the book. It is really special to see and so glad that through technology he can still be part of our routine every night.

So Glad

I am so glad Chris is coming home tonight. I don't know if I can do another night by myself. Though I'm sure tonight she will be just fine and sleep like she hasn't been sick all week. She is now taking steriods and a breathing machine to keep her lungs open, she is on ear drops for an infection in one ear and oral antibiotic to keep it from spreading to the other ear. I have to suck her nose out, and give Tylenol to keep the fever down.

She still can't sleep laying down so once again last night I held her. She sounded so good at 2 I tried to put her down, that was a BIG mistake she screamed for almost an hour until I got her back to sleep, the whole time crying and coughing.

I'm praying that she isn't getting too used to sleeping with me. She has not sleep in our bed since she was 6 months old and I would really like to not start now. Though it is going to be a lot harder to break her of the habit when Chris is not home.

She has to go to the babysitters today because I have no one to watch her and she isn't really sick enough still for me to stay home, I only have 4 or 5 more days this year. I hope she can make it through the day, then Chris can stay home with her tomorrow. Though again I'm sure she will be just fine and a joy to be around tomorrow.

Hope Thursday goes fast!!

Never Brag

On Friday night I was bragging that Alyssa had gone ten days without a breathing treatment and had been very healthy. Saturday she woke up and did not want to eat. By Sunday morning she was running a fever and by this morning we were at the doctors because she did not want to eat, had a horrible cough and was still running a low grade fever. The doctor said it was just another virus going around and that she should be better by tomorrow.

With Chris out of town I have now written out sub plans for tomorrow and will decide in the morning if she is well enough to go to daycare or if she needs another day at home. I hope she is well enough for daycare since I only have 7 days left for this year and would really like to take some into next year.

I do have a staff meeting after work tomorrow but I will skip out on that if she is even coughing a little because that is not fair to her.

Here is praying that tomorrow brings my baby back!

It is Friday

This has been a LONG week. Nothing too bad has happened but the week has just gone on forever. I'm glad today is friday and I have a three day weekend. I think that will help next week go faster. Though next week might be a stressful one.

On a positive note Alyssa slept through the night last night and so did I!! YEAH!!

Great Weekend

It was a great weekend that started really early for Alyssa and I. We had snow days on Thursday and Friday because of snow and then really cold temps. It was a good thing because Alyssa was not feeling well on Wednesday and the four days home has made a huge difference.

Chris came home on Friday and was able to get off work early because of the weather and was home by 1:30. Alyssa was asleep when he got home, so when she woke up he went to get her up. She kept looking at him and then looking at me, then looking at him. It wasn't the reaction I was expecting but by an hour later you could tell she was happy he was home. For the rest of the night and most of the weekend she was his. She wanted daddy and I let her.

Starting today she went back to "normal" going between the two of us and I feel a little guilty knowing that tomorrow we are going to take Chris away from her again. It will be interesting to see if she has sleep issues this week. If she does I think it will be related to Chris being gone, if not we can say it was just a cold.

We really didn't do much this weekend since it was so cold we didn't want to take Alyssa out in the cold so we stayed in. I did go out and run errands but Chris and Alyssa stayed at home. Over all it was a great weekend. I'm sad Chris is leaving in the morning but with one week down I can say, I can do it.

Though next week will be harder since I will have to work all 5 days.

11 Months

Dear Alyssa,

You are now 11 months old. I can not believe how fast time has gone. You are growing up so much. You still do not sleep through the night but it is down to only waking up once a night now, so hopefully soon you will drop that last wake up.

For food you have refused all baby food this month. All you want is the food we are eating. You also will not wear a bib, if we put one on you, instead of eating you just sit there trying to rip it off. So you now get a bath nightly to clean you up after dinner.

You started walking about a week before Christmas and have been walking up a storm ever since. You can now walk really fast and are trying to run.

Right after Christmas you had your first surgery to put tubes in your ears. Mommy and Daddy were a nervous wreck the day of the surgery but by that night you were just fine. They don't seem to bother you and we are hoping this will stop the ear infections.

You love to put on necklaces and hats. Though this also has to be your idea if we put them on your head you get really mad and rip them off.

You love to laugh and make Daddy and I laugh many times every night. We have enjoyed a lot of time together as a family over the winter break. You can open the drawers to your toys and the cabinets in the kitchen to get out whatever your heart desires.

You love to read books and will sit there by yourself opening and closing the book.

Your best friend at home is Vinnie and you now have taken to chasing each other around the house.

At daycare the tell me all the time how advanced you are and how you are not like most babies there. I think they mean it as a good thing!

I love you baby girl and this next month will be rough with daddy gone for the month but we will get through it.

You are truly the light of your dad's and my life and we can't wait to see what our future holds in the coming months!

Love, Mommy