Birthday Party

On Saturday we held Alyssa's first birthday party. It was amazing and so much fun. We had over 30 people in our house from every aspect of our life. Some of the people were family, some were co-workers, and friends. It was a blast to have them all in one place all celebrating our daughter.

We had some really good food of fried chicken, pastas, salad and of course cake.

Alyssa got some great gifts and has loved walking around the house for the last two days carrying the balloons we got.

It was a great day and want to thank all the people that came out to show their love for our family and our daughter!

Snow days

Yesterday I had a snow day. It was one of the very best snow days I have ever had. Alyssa was in a GREAT mood all day. She was such a joy to be around. There really wasn't that much snow so I called my mother in law and we went out to lunch and shopping.

At the mall Alyssa got tired of her stroller very quickly and she walked about half the mall with us. I was so surprised that she was able to walk so far.

The best part came at the end of the day when Chris called to tell us he was on his way home. The day couldn't have gone any better.

Today was back to work. It started off with a meeting with my boss and just went down hill from there.

I can't wait for the weekend and Alyssa's birthday party. It should be a lot of fun and I can't wait to celebrate with family and friends.

12 Months

Dear Alyssa,

Today is your first birthday. I cannot believe how fast this first year has flown by. You are such a joy and so full of smiles that everyone around you can't help but smile.

This last month has brought lots of struggles for us. The first of January Daddy had to go work so far away from home that he had to live down there for the week and was only home on weekends. This left mommy in charge of you full time.

This is also the month you have been the sickest. The doctor tells us that it is "normal" but I do not agree. You have had two ear infections(even though you have tubes). You have had two HORRIBLE chest colds. Those colds have been so bad they have had you in the doctor's office multiple times. Mommy has also spent many sleepless nights holding you upright so that you can breathe. You are now on a new medicine through a breathing machine along with an inhaled steroid that seem to be doing the trick. Hopefully these two things will keep you healthy for the month of February.

You have now totally mastered walking and climbing the stairs. You are working on feeding yourself with a fork and spoon. You can do it but it is very messy. You have also started to help put away your toys. Daddy built wonderful shelves with drawers and cabinets in which all your toys stay and you are great at opening and closing those as you need things.

Every time the phone rings you get really excited and start saying "Hi Dadda". You love to play pretend with the phones and will use anything you can as a phone and "talk" into it.

Your vocabulary has expanded, you can now say, momma, dadda, go, bye, hi, and baby. Your favorite to say is baby.

You have also mastered how to throw a fit. When someone tells you "no" you now lay down on the floor and scream, sometimes even kicking your legs. Though as fast as it starts it is over and you are on to the next thing.

At daycare you love to play with the older kids and have had to be put in time out for pulling another girls hair when you got mad. Everyday when I go to pick you up, you come over to me with the biggest smile and lay your head down on my shoulder to give me a hug. I look forward to it everyday.

Alyssa you have become such a big girl and have brought more to mine and your dad's life than we could have ever imagined. We would give you the world if we could.

You also have many amazing people that play a vital role in your life. You have a day care teacher that loves you and worries about you just as we do. You have 3 sets of grandparents that call many times a week to check on you, and in a week you will have over 35 people here to celebrate the first year of your life.

I love you big girl, and I can't wait to see what joys and challenges the next year brings.

Love,

Mommy

Happy Birthday Alyssa

One year ago today I was in the hospital.

I was supposed to be induced on Sunday at 11 am. But Thursday night I started having some contractions nothing too strong but uncomfortable. At about midnight I got up and sat in the chair in our loft for about 2 hours. The contractions got stronger for awhile then went away. So at about 2 I went back to bed. I laid there for 30 minutes and couldn't sleep so I got up to come downstairs to watch some tv. When I got downstairs I went to the restroom. I then came out to watch TV.

As I was walking to the couch I felt something wet drip down my leg. I thought "EWWW that is gross I didn't wipe well enough". So I went back to the bathroom, cleaned up and walked out again. I got to the exact same spot again and I felt more wetness on my leg. This time I knew it wasn't pee. So I went upstairs got a pad and told Chris I was going to call the doctor but I thought my water just broke.

I came down and called the doctor, he said that it sounded like it was time to get this show on the road and that I should head to the hospital. So we finished packing up all our things. Chris the whole time talking about how after they release us from the hospital we can go to Uncle Bills for breakfast.

On the way to the hospital I sat on a puppy pee pad because I didn't want to ruin the car seat. We got to the hospital about 4 am. We get up to Labor and Delivery and they have to confirm that my water had broken. Of course at this time I wasn't leaking so they asked me some questions and got me all set up. Then she checked me and said "Ohh you guys aren't going anywhere so if you need to make any phone calls you can". We informed her that per wishes we were not to call anyone until after 6.

I got hooked up to the monitors and an IV started. I was told I was not allowed out of bed until my doctor okay-ed it since my water had broken.

So we watched some tv and talked about how excited we were. At a little after 6 Chris went to get our stuff out of the car (we had left it in the car because Chris was sure I peed my pants).

At about 6:30 we started the phone calls. The first phone call was to my in-laws.

My father in law answered the phone. I told him I was in labor and that we had left Vinnie at home so they were going to have to go get him at some point that day. He said "okay good luck" and hung up the phone. I told Chris that I bet his mom would be calling back very soon.

I was right she called back I told her all she needed to know about Vinnie. Then I called my mom. I woke her up as well. We then called my dad and woke him up.

I was put on piticion to get contractions moving since they weren't really doing anything. I was then able to sit on a medicine ball and roll around while Chris sat behind me rubbing my back. My goal had been to get to noon without the epidural. By 10:30 I was in so much pain that I could barely breath. At 11 they wanted to check me. I was still not even 1 cm dilated. I was in tears. They called my doctor and he told them to give me the epidural to relax me. So I got it.

The guy was foreign and I could barely understand him through the pain. The nurse had to repeat everything he said.

From 11-5 we just sat around watching TV and giving people updates that nothing was happening. I think I cried a few more times when they told me little progress had been made.

At 6 they checked me and I was at 4. I thought FINALLY I'm making progress. In fact I had told the nurse to lie to me if I hadn't because I couldn't handle 1 cm any longer. I told her that I was leaving if she told me 1. I was serous though I don't know how I was going to do it since I couldn't feel my legs.

At 6:15 I told them I was having a lot of pressure. They thought my EPI was wearing off and ordered a new bag to be hung.

At 6:30 I told them I still felt the pressure. They checked me and I was 10. BUT shift change happened in 30 min so they didn't want me to start pushing.

So I just laid there until 7:15 when the new nurse came on duty. She had me do some practice pushes then told me to stop while they got things ready.

At 8:00 p.m. the room was ready for a baby and the doctor showed up and got dressed. At 8:23 Alyssa was born. She weighed 6 pound 11 ounces and was 20 and 1/4 inches long.

We thought she was the best thing in the world.

THAT mom

Yesterday I was THAT mom. You know the one, the one I had always judged as I was standing in line at a store.

We had to go to Walgreen's to pick up ANOTHER medicine. Of course it wasn't ready. Alyssa had pulled her socks off in the car and so I took her in to the store without socks. At first she was happy sitting in my lap talking to me. But soon she wanted down. I tried to deny her access to the floor but after another 3 minutes of her fighting me I finally put her down. She was so much happier and so was I. She was walking around the area without socks or shoes and all I could think was this is gross.

BUT WAIT IT GETS WORSE!!

She finds in my purse her Gerber puffs. I start feeding them to her but since we had been to the doctor and pharmacy the day before as well I was running low. I ran out very quickly and another melt down was starting. I told her that we would go buy some more. So I pick her up and carry her to get more. I look at the price and they are almost $3.00. I usually buy them for less than a $1.50 at the store. So we walk over to the chip aisle and I get a bag of Cheeto puffs. We then walk back to the pharmacy area.

She is now walking around with no shoes and socks, while eating Cheeto's so she has orange hands and face.

I will not judge moms in the store again! (Okay I might a little but not as harshly). This weekend we will also be going out to get her some shoes, so that this does not happen again.

That is all until Tomorrow: Alyssa's first Birthday!!

One Year ago today..

I told you there was going to be memories this week. One year ago today I had my last doctor's appointment though I didn't know it at the time. Chris decided to go with me since I had been on bed rest for the week. We met at the doctor's office. I gave my normal pee sample and waited for the doctor.

I was talking about going back to work on Thursday to try to wrap up some odds and ends and hopefully be ready to have the baby by Monday.

The doctor walks in and told me that my blood pressure was still really high. I told him I was still a little swollen but much better than I was on Monday when I was at Labor and Delivery. He called out to the nurse to find out if I had protein in my urine. We listened to Alyssa's heart rate and then he checked to see if I was dilated at all. I was only a half cm. Then he said "Well I will do this here so it will save us time when we go over there" (I don't think I will ever forget those words) Chris and I looked at each other shocked and scared. As the doctor was listening to my heart and lungs. Just as he finishes that the nurse comes in and says that my urine is clean. At that point he decides that we don't have to induce that night. He was going to go talk to the nurse to set up an induction date and as long as the NST (Non-stress test) came back normal we could go home for the night and come back for another appointment on Friday.

So we go and he hooks me up to monitors to measure Alyssa's heart rate, and to see if I was having any contractions. I was having small contractions but nothing regular or strong and her heart rate was great. As we were doing the test (it took 30 minutes). A nurse comes in and tells us we are set up for an induction at 11 am on Sunday. We also had a 10 o clock appointment for Friday.

After the test was over Chris and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and talked about how our baby would be here very soon. We were both excited and very nervous. We decided that Chris would take Friday off and after my appointment we would go to the zoo and walk around. Little did we know we would never make it to the zoo.

More to come on Saturday.

Disappointment and Stress

Last night Chris told me that he was going to get to come home for a week. Tonight he tells me "just kidding" I will be here until the end of the month.

I know it is a good thing that he still has a job but it is so frustrating.

I don't know how much more of this I can do. I don't know if I will be alive at the end of the month. I was fine the first few weeks he was gone when Alyssa was healthy and I was able to sleep 95-98% of the night.

Now I am lucky if I get 5 hours of sleep a night and that is broken sleep because Alyssa is up. She is so sick with breathing treatments. Today she had a chest x-ray, blood work and a doctor's appointment to make sure she doesn't have anything other than congestion. The doctor keeps telling me that she is typical for a first year baby in daycare. But I know that isn't true, I know to many people that have kids in daycare and worked in daycare long enough to know that she is extreme.

Because of all the stress and lack of sleep I have been getting I have developed an eye twitch. My right eye twitches constantly. There are times when I feel like I can't breathe. I have also noticed that my patience at work is considerably less.

I really pray that Alyssa can at least go back to being almost healthy and I can make it another 4 weeks, because right now it feels like I can't doggy paddle anymore and I'm going to drowned.

Memories

This week, (and probably the next few) will be posts about memories. A year ago tonight was superbowl. It was held at Judy and Chas' house. They had a special chair set up for me to sit in so I could prop my feet up. The game was a great game and I enjoyed lots of laughs and noise. Alyssa was moving like crazy in my stomach and we all joked that we were just getting her ready for the noise.

The next day (Feb 2, 2009) I went to school not feeling good and was really swollen. I went to get my blood pressure checked by the nurse and it was WAY high. She told me she didn't care what the doctor told me to do, that I was not allowed to stay at school because I was not stroking out on her watch.

I called my doctor who told me to go to Labor and Delivery. So I called in a sub and left. After spending 3 hours in Labor and Delivery and the blood pressure machine going crazy every 15 minutes (they finally taught me how to turn it off). They let me go home on bed rest until my doctors appointment on Wednesday.

I can not believe it has been a year. I look at my baby(not so baby anymore) and get teary eyed thinking that a year ago I did not know the joy and struggles this year would bring. I would not change it for the world.