Since the miscarriage I have mixed emotions about Christmas. I am still excited for Alyssa's first Christmas but at the same time I can't wait for Christmas to be over. I think I'm ready to move on. When I was first pregnant I was thinking of how I would look at Christmas and how the clothes I had to pick out for people to give me would not fit anymore. Now those clothes will fit and in a way it will be a reminder that I'm not pregnant.
I think the other thing keeping me from the Christmas spirit is my work. But I'm not even going to take the time to post about that because I'm off work for two weeks and have promised myself that for that time I will not think about work.
So with those thoughts Merry Christmas and may it be filled with wonderful memories and may 2010 bring even more good ones.
Some years, more than others, the Christmas Spirit is harder to "achieve". Its okay. A lot has to do with life's pressures, sometimes it is the weather, sometimes it is the unknown stuff in the air. In any case, enjoy to the best of your ability and know that next year all will be different for whatever it is in the air. Do enjoy those special moments with Alyssa though!! You are dearly loved my dear daughter and I wish we could celebrate Christmas together this year. I am hoping we can be together next year though either here in Arizona or in Missouri!! I do so love you!
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