So much to say...

I have so much to say and yet have not had anytime to blog about it. It has been a busy but good week with the day care and my kids.

I can't believe that in a week and 2 days Alyssa turns two. She has become such a cute little girl. She is not a baby anymore (and hasn't been for a long time). I also can't believe that tomorrow Colin will turn 2 months. He is also getting big. He is smiling and so much more. ( Well you can read that in my letter to him tomorrow).

I can't believe that my day care is full. It was totally full for two days, and then I lost a kid but I'm thinking that by the middle of next week that spot will be full again.

When I think about the way I felt and the lack of hope and the tiredness I felt at this time last year and think of how I feel this year the difference is like night and day.

Last year I had lost a lot of faith, hated my job, questioned everything. This year I'm full of faith enjoying the blessings of the kids I have and loving my job.

I have so much more to say but I'm working and don't have time to put all my thoughts from the week in words.

So I will just leave with the words : content and happy!

Regrets

We all have regrets and things we wish we could take back. Some of those things are small words we say or things we think. Others are big, actions we do.

Last night was one of the biggest regrets I have had in a long time. I went out with a good friend and we went to a movie and then out for drinks (that isn't the part I regret).

Now remember that I really haven't drank in 10 months. After the drinks (I had two Martini's) I drove home. As I was driving home I realized that it was definitely harder to drive than normal. Then I got to thinking more and realized I had drank two Martini's in about an hour and now less than a half hour after I finished the last one I was driving home. I now was getting sick to my stomach, not because of the drinks but because I realized I was probably over the legal limit to drive. I drove the rest of the way home, got in the garage and started to cry.

I thanked God for getting me home safely. I was also so mad at myself. I know how upset I get when Chris drives after a few beers and here I was driving with more than that. I am so grateful that I got home safe and I will never ever do that again. I have too much at stake. I have two small children and a wonderful husband that I don't want to leave because I'm in jail or dead.

So if your reading this take this as a warning. Think before you get in the car after even just two drinks.

Potty Training is OVER

Potty training is over and being potty trained is done. She is now to the point where she can tell us when she has to go potty and can make it to the potty. If she does have an accident she gets really upset. It was so easy to train her. I can only hope Colin will be as easy.

She has been super easy to break of all the habits we were afraid about. At 4 months we decided to stop swaddling her, we took about a week and swaddled less and less each night and by the end of the week she was totally good.

When we took the bottle away at 1 year she didn't even look back it did not bother her at all.

We took the pacifier away it only took 3 nights and she was good. Potty training 3 days.

Brining Colin home did not faze her and she did not regress at all.

The only thing that has been hard is getting her to sleep through the night and then the toddler bed. In fact the toddler bed was so bad that she is back in a crib, but I hope that when the time is right and we try again it will go as easy as all the other transitions.

First Night in Crib

Last night was Colin's first night in his crib(He is now 7.5 weeks). We tried the night before and as soon as we put him down he woke up and didn't go back to sleep until we put him in the bassinet. So last night we tried again. This time we was already asleep when we put him down in the crib. We turned on his giraffe and he was out.

He slept in his crib until 2 this morning. When he woke up to eat I went and got him and brought him back to bed with us. I did not even try to put him back in his crib. We need to move the rocking chair into his room so that at some point I can feed him in his room and put him back to bed.

Alyssa was a lot older when we moved her to her room and I actually don't remember if she went for the whole night or part of the night or even when it was. I'm sure I wrote it down somewhere but it is amazing how fast you forget things.

Pretty

This morning Alyssa was in the bathroom while I was taking a shower and getting ready. This is something that happens often and she loves to go through my make up drawer and pretend to put on my make up, or open my eye shadow and put it on her cheeks. This morning she found hair ties and was playing with those.

Later on in the morning I was in her room getting some things together and she ran into my room and closed the door. After I finished getting her stuff I went to find her. I had to open my door and then the bathroom door. When I opened the bathroom door I found her with my mascara wand in her hand and mascara ALL over her upper face and hands. When she saw me she started to show me her dirty hands.

I tried to take water to it, but of course I wear water proof mascara and had to take make up remover to her hands and face.( Of course after I had taken some pictures). I still had to take her out today with a little under her eyes.

Today we went to the History Museum with Justin and Becca, Grandma and Grandpa. Alyssa had a blast and Colin slept through it all. We then went to an Italian place on the hill for lunch. It was good food and good company. Once again both kids did great.

Alyssa has been out three days in a row for long stretches of time and has not had one accident in public. She is doing so well with her potty training.

Crazy Week

It was a crazy week and by 3:00 today you could tell I was tired. There were toys in every corner of the downstairs, there was clothes all over the stairs and there were kids running and screaming everywhere.

When Chris called at 4:30 and asked what I wanted for dinner I told him I wanted/needed out of the house. I was tired of staring at these walls and being in the house. So we went out to dinner.

I am very grateful for a 3 day weekend. It will be busy as we have commitments with a few different people, but it will be nice to be out of the house. On Monday I am getting out of the house and going to my in laws so that Alyssa can play with her cousins.

Hopefully by Tuesday I can handle and enjoy being in these walls again.

Nursing Strike/ Potty Training

Colin has gone on a nursing strike. I know this means I should wait for him to get so hungry that he will have no choice but to start nursing again. However my body has a different idea and cannot just sit around and wait for him to get hungry. So I have been pumping bottles and giving those to him if he chooses not to nurse. While I was doing this I thought "Isn't it ironic that now that I am staying home full time I will have a baby that only wants the bottle and when I was working outside the home I had a baby who only wanted to nurse". God sure does have a sense of humor doesn't he.

Today is day 5 in potty training. Alyssa is averaging 1-2 accidents a day and they always happen when she is too busy playing to stop and go to the bathroom. She has been stretching it out though the last two days and is able to go longer between bathroom breaks. Now I'm waiting for her to tell me that she has to go instead of me always asking her or telling her it is time to go. I am so proud of her and it is really nice to know that diapers are a thing of the past for her. Now the only time she is wet is overnight. I have a feeling that this will take a lot longer to prefect as she has a family history of late bed wetters. So if she has to wear a diaper for bed at night for another year I will be fine with it, as long as her days stay dry.

2nd Surgery done

My baby is only 23 months,that means less than 2, and just had her second set of tubes. She did great.

We got to the hospital a little after 7:30. We got up to a room and Alyssa played with her ipad and checked out the room. About 8:45 they came in to check her stats one more time give her a medicine to relax her and asked us to put her in the hospital gown. She refused to put the hospital gown on. So we carried her down in just a diaper to the OR. I went back to the holding area with Alyssa and Chris went to the waiting room with Colin.

In the holding area Alyssa started to get a little loopy and I had to keep a tight hand on her because she would fall backwards at times.

About 9:00 they took her back for the surgery and I went out into the waiting room with Chris. That was the longest half hour of my life it seems. About 15 minutes after I got to the waiting room the doctor came out and said the surgery went well. The next 15 minutes was even slower than the first 15 minutes. I told Chris twice that I wanted her to wake up and know that she was good.

FINALLY the call came and we went to the doors to wait for her to come out. It took another 5 minutes and Chris and I kept looking at each other thinking about how slow time was going.

We got back up to the room about 10 and Alyssa was really upset. We gave her some juice and a cereal bar. She was very upset so we gave her back the ipad. She watched it and ate.

When it came time to put her clothes on she got very upset again but we were able to get them back on.

At about 10:45 the nurse asked if she had a wet diaper yet, so we had her go potty and then we were able to leave. Since she really liked her ipad when we told her that it was time to go she started to scream. So we carried Alyssa out of the hospital kicking and screaming.

We stopped and got lunch for Chris and I and then came home. Alyssa stayed awake until about 4 and then fell asleep. So we let her sleep until 5:10 and then woke her up, feed her gave her a bath and put her back to bed.

SO it went well, but this will be her last surgery for tubes.

Another Hospital Bracelet..following in her footsteps

Tomorrow Alyssa will go in for her second set of tubes. Her first set fell out very quickly. She lost her right tube within 3 months of it being put in and the left tube about a month ago. Since July she has had 5 ear infections so more tubes is what we have to do.

Last time she bounced back very quickly and by the end of the day you wouldn't of even knew she had surgery. I'm hoping she will do the same this time, however, she is a little older and holds grudges. So I'm worried she is going to come out of surgery and be mad at us. I asked all my daycare parents to find other care for their children for tomorrow with the benefit of an extra vacation day. They were all happy to help, so Alyssa will be able to come home to an empty house. This will help her rest and then she can just lay around and have all of mine and her dads attention for the rest of the day.

On another note Colin seems to be following in his big sisters footsteps. Today I was feeding him when I noticed a lot of green discharge in his ear. I called the doctor who wanted us to come in. He diagnosed Colin with an ear infection. An ear infection in a kid his age (6 weeks) is very very rare and not a good sign of what is to come.

My mother in law and mother both tried to tell me that it might just be a one time thing. If he was 6 months old I could go with maybe, but with him only being 6 weeks, I'm going with no. I have a feeling that before the end of the year we will be at the hospital with Colin getting tubes. Hopefully we can wait until he is over 6 months before he needs them.

Hopefully Colin will only follow with the ear infections and won't have the asthma that his sister has.

Chris and I laughed and said we need to be done having children because we won't be able to afford medical care for a 3rd. These two kids are going to put us in the poor house with all the meds and doctor visits we go through. It was over $100 today just for the doctor visit and the 2 meds Colin needed and Alyssa's breathing meds.

6 Weeks

Colin is 6 weeks old today. I can't believe it has been that long already! In some ways it seems like he was just born and in other ways it seems like he has been a part of our family forever.

If I had a job outside the home I would be going back to work today. Instead I have already been back at work 5 and a half weeks but I don't have to leave my son. It is good to spend all day with him, but I don't get to just sit and stare at him with all the other kids running around and needing attention.

My body is bouncing back after this time than it did with Alyssa. I guess it popped out faster so it is going back faster. As of this morning I am 5 lbs away from being at what I was at the day I found out I was pregnant. I still have a little tummy but hopefully by the end of March I can have that gone. By June I would like to be down 13 more lbs and by September I would like to be 18lbs less than I am right now. I am setting my goals for a long time away because I don't want to be disappointed and give up. Also that gives me time to get in shape and if it happens sooner I will take it. I know that my weight loss as slowed down as of right now.

Someone today asked me who I thought Colin looked like. I wasn't sure so I pulled out pictures of Alyssa at his age. They look a lot a like. There are differences but there is more that is the same and so if he follows in his sisters footsteps he will be just as cute little toddler.

Day 2 Potty Training

Day two did not go as well as day one. She had no accidents until 3:30. Then at 3:30 she had a potty accident, at 4 she had a poop accident, at 4:45 another potty accident and then one more at 5:30 tonight.

So hopefully tomorrow goes better. I have to leave for about 3 hours tomorrow so she will be home with my assistant and hopefully she will keep up her good streak of going potty.

Day one in Underwear

Today was day one in underwear for Alyssa. She did REALLY well. She started off the morning by going potty.

When we went to church we put her in a diaper, but I took her potty right before she went to the nursery and she went, and they said she went potty once while in the nursery.

We also put a diaper on her at nap time. When she woke up from nap Chris and I were both busy so she had to wait a few minutes before we could get to her and she peed in her diaper but then went poop on the potty. So I consider that a success.

After nap it was back to underwear. She only had one accident and for that one she told me she needed to go potty and we were on our way to the potty but didn't make it fast enough.

I am so proud of her. If she keeps this up the pack of diapers Chris ordered for her we won't need. They will sit in Colin's closet until he fits in size 3 diapers.

I'm going to keep blogging about her potty training success and or failures so that my facebook friends don't go crazy reading about it. This is also a way for me to remember when and how it happened for her.

Potty Training

We have started potty training. Hopefully this goes better than her toddler bed! On Wednesday night we put her on the potty before her bath like we do every so often and she actually went potty. We threw a big party for her and she was so happy. On Thursday morning when I went to get her up from her nap she was naked in her crib and her crib was dry. So I ran her to the potty where she went potty again. The rest of the afternoon she went potty 4 more times.

On Friday morning Chris got her out of bed and put her on the potty where she went poop. She then went potty 3 more times that day on the potty. This morning she went potty again. So today we went out and bought her some big girl underwear. We came home and she spent about 45 minutes putting on each pair. She then had her first accident on the way upstairs to go potty.

Tomorrow is a new day and a full day of underwear, we will see how it goes. It would be nice if by her second birthday she was potty trained. It would also be nice if she was out of diapers so that we only have one in diapers instead of two.

God works in Mysterious ways

I have always believed things happen for a reason and God works in ways I don't understand all the time. Sometimes it is hard to hear that, and really you just want to feel sorry for yourself and mope.

A few things have happened this last week and I'm waiting for God to show me how they are all going to work out.

First a story not about me. One of my daycare parents we will call her M. She has one daughter that goes to my daycare. M is a single mom and after some hardships I put a prayer request in for her at church. A guy from the church gave her a check for a big amount of money. She was very grateful and at first she wasn't sure if she should accept it, but she did. A week later she comes in to my daycare (Friday) and tells me she has been fired from her job. She is even more grateful for the money because it will help her out until she can find another job which she is sure she will have soon.

*I tell this story because I feel that God knew what was to come and made sure that M was taken care of and would not have to worry while she looked for another job*

This leads me to my story. Before I started my daycare but was feeling things out I was told I would have 3 kids for sure. Well I decided to open my business and right away all 3 of those kids backed out. I was now left with no kids and no job.

I am grateful those kids did not start because since I started I have now been able to get 7 other kids with one more starting soon. I have gotten so many kids that I have to have an assistant 4 days a week. Well until my last kid starts in March money is still a little tight but my assistant was working for $5 an hour and with taking taxes out making next to nothing. So Thursday night I told her I was giving her a raise and that she was now making $6.50 an hour. Friday roles around and now M is pulling her child until she can find another job and so money now becomes even tighter.

God has blessed me with this growing business and lead me to where I am now. So now I pray that money issues will work themselves out quickly and that he will show me the way once again.

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6 months ago today I had no idea if I was going to have a job come August. I sit here today so happy with a job that keeps me home with my kids, lets me help other kids and I enjoy it.

a year ago today I went into work each day with the weight of the world on my shoulders worried about what I was going to get blamed for that day and what kid was going to push, punch or cuss me out. Today I sit here with parents paying me the highest compliments for watching their kids and telling me that they will be with me for as long as their child needs care. I have 7 parents that love what I do with their kids! I have found what I need to do.

Missing Grandma

When I found out I was pregnant my mom said she would come and help out for two weeks so that Alyssa could get attention and I could relax. I said, "great!" but really I was worried if two weeks was a good idea. I love my mom to death but sometimes after too much togetherness time we get on each others nerves.

Well since that time I opened my own business and Colin came 3 weeks early. These two things changed my mom's visit drastically. Colin was about a month old when my mom came out instead of 2-3 weeks and I had been back to work for 4 and a half weeks.

My mom came in helped with the daycare for the week my assistant was out of town and then spent some quality time with Alyssa and Colin. She also got really sick and spent a day curled up in bed sleeping while kids screamed downstairs all day( how she slept through all the noise I have no idea).

My mom left today and I'm so sad she is gone. I feel like because of the daycare and everything we had no down time. It also seems like she wasn't here long at all.

I know Alyssa is going to miss her. She would wait to hear Grandma's hair dryer in the morning so that she could go up and see her. I would then find the two of them snuggled back in grandma's bed playing with her ipad. At night Alyssa and Grandma would sit on the couch watching videos on the ipad while Alyssa did her breathing treatment.

It was a really good visit and I can't wait for mom to come back in March and see how much the kids have grown and maybe have a more relaxing time.

Best Laid Plans

I had planned to potty train Alyssa over the summer. I tried unsuccessfully for a week. I got 2 poops on the potty and not a single pee. After a week of cleaning up the carpet I gave up.

She then started to take her clothes off and say she had to go potty end of October first of November. I did not push it because I was 8 months pregnant and the thought of trying to run to the bathroom all the time was not something I could do. After a week or two she gave up and stopped trying to tell me she had to go potty.

I had decided that around her birthday in February I would try again. This gave her time to adjust to her new brother and me to get the daycare in order with the new kids I had added.

Well last night I asked her if she had to go potty before we got in the bathtub. Not because I wanted her to go I just wanted to distract her from the fit she was throwing. She said yes and I put her on. She sat there and nothing happened so I went to take her off, she freaked out. So I put her back on. She peed! I praised her and so did her dad and she was so proud.

Today I went to get her up from her nap and she was totally naked and told me "potty, potty" so I took her to the toilet and she went potty(there was no accident in her bed). She then went another 3 times this afternoon.

So I guess we are going to start working on potty training and maybe she will be potty trained by her 2nd birthday.

Best laid plans rarely work out and I guess this is a case where it might work in my favor. Maybe we won't have two in diapers for too long.

1 Month

Dear Colin,

I write to your sister every month and so now you will get a letter too. I hope some day you will enjoy reading these.

I can't believe you are only a month old.You already weigh 9 lbs 14 ounces and are 22 inches long.

You were 3 weeks early in your arrival and came on a day when I told you that you were not allowed to be born on. Since then Daddy and I have taken to calling you our wrench. Because whatever plans we have you make sure that you change them. If we plan to sit down to dinner while you are sleeping you wake up. If I plan to jump in the shower while you are happy in your bouncy seat then you are no longer happy. No matter what the plans you make sure we don't forget you are there.

You are a very calm baby. You do spend a lot of time awake and just looking around this has lead to really strong muscles in your neck. You can hold your head up very well and are very strong. You enjoy the swing and the bouncy seat. Most of the time you do not have to be held while you are awake and like just hanging out watching the kids in the daycare. You sleep through all the noise of the daycare and sometimes have a harder time sleeping on weekends when it is quiet.

At night you only wake up about 2 times. You eat and go right back to sleep. This helps mommy a lot since mommy is up for work each morning by 5:30.

You already have your dad and me wrapped around your finger and we can't imagine our lives without you. Your big sister loves to kiss your head and tell you that she loves you. I'm excited to see your relationship with her grow.

You have gotten to meet all your grandparents already (except Papa). They all love and adore you.

23 Months

Dear Alyssa,

I have not written to you in a long time. So Mommy is going to try to catch up. The biggest change you have made since the last time I wrote is that you are finally getting more hair. You have enough for me to put in a pebbles style pony tail on the top of your head.

You are saying so many words and will repeat almost anything we say. You love to talk and will do so any chance you get. You read books to us and enjoy being read to.

The other big change in your life is your baby brother. He was born a month ago. You like to lay on the floor with him and get him toys (though not your toys). You will also read him stories. You are not jealous of him, but you do watch me closely and when you see that my arms are free you take your chance to get some snuggles with mommy.

You really enjoy playing with all the kids of the daycare and look forward to when they show up during the day.

Christmas was a big hit with you. You knew how to open presents and were very excited to see what was inside. You got to open yours, Colin's and all of mine. When you would open a present for Colin you would take it to him and show him what he got before moving on to the next one.

We tried you in a big girl bed for a week and that did not go very well so you are back in a crib for awhile longer.

I can't believe in a month you will be two! You have changed mine and your daddy's life so much and we can't picture our life without you. You are so smart and happy.

You have been sick a few time in the last few months and now have to go have the tubes put back in your ears later this month. Hopefully those will help and you won't have to keep taking yucky medicine.

I love you big girl and once again can't wait to see what the future holds for you.

Love,

Mommy

Happy New Year

Today is the first day of 2011. Hopefully the start to the New Year does not predict what is ahead. Today Alyssa woke up not feeling well and through out the day got a fever and had an upset tummy. Colin did not want to be put down for one second today and spent most of the day in Chris or my arms. Through all that we get the tree out of the house and the house cleaned. It wasn't a bad day but not the start I figured for 2011.

This year will be a year of changes as every year is but I don't see any big changes in store for us this year. We won't have any graduations, moving, or babies. Hopefully my business continues to grow and Chris continues to get job assignments for his job.

Every year we have a big project we save up for and I think this year is new floors for downstairs. We would like to put hardwood down. We will see if we can save enough for that.

I look forward to watching my children grow and change this year and I look forward to see what God has in store for our lives.

I don't write new year resolutions anymore because I know I won't keep them. But after watching a few friends lose people unexpectedly in the last month, my new years resolution this year is to enjoy the good and bad that this year has in store. I will not wish my days away because who knows how many I have left. I will enjoy and cherish my family and my life.